ab
(25.12.06 10:45) i thought the title of the poem was indicative of the purpose of the poem.
PerpetualMelody
(26.12.06 05:05)
you've interpreted the title and the poem correctly. but i would like to add that it is fictional, and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is strictly co-incidental
abhishek
(29.12.06 10:31)
Oh ah! sorry then. I guess my congrats are either premature or belated.
Whichever it is, it is a nice poem for the purpose, though there is somethings that stand out. The first two paras are of 3 lines each and the last one is of 4 lines. Also the last para is substantially different in the way it is constructed from the other two. The first 2 paras are as if you are talking either to yourself or to no-one in particular while the last one is a conversation piece. Given the title of the poem a conversational tone seems more congruent.
I know that poems cannot be critically analyzed, especially when they are published in blogs. After all its just an opinion, a personal emotion (though fictional in this case) something that can be in any form the author wants.
So take it as a reader's feedback not analysis. I hope this feedback does not matter.
PS: This anonymity is not out of a desire to hide myself but more to prevent my email address from being broad casted. Last time I threw around my email address in a blog, i reaped a rich harvest of spam.
PerpetualMelody
(2.1.07 18:01)
of course not! in fact i really want more feedback!
when i started with the poem, i wanted it to be a dialogue between the bride and the groom - and some incident that happened between them. but since the incident was not really driving the end, i cut it off.. thought it explains too much. but well, now that you've mentioned it, the two parts do sound incongruous in the tone. i'll try to work upon it. thanks!
do you write as well? put your blog URL instead of the email-id!
abhishek
(3.1.07 05:22)
Havent been able to write anything. I do have a blog (every one and their dog has a blog these days) but its not worth much. Most of the time, i start writing something and stop after couple of lines. Havent been able to find much worth writing about. Probably the problem is getting into the discipline of writing something (or may be getting my muse ). But I do have grandiose plans. Let see.
abhishek
(3.1.07 11:33)
as i read back on what i have written, I think i am grooming my self to be a sodding critic!!! Not writing anything but ready to provide feedback to others. Will have to write up something asap if i want to escape that fate.
Waise, I was going through your blog and some interesting points came to my notice. Just a question, what are you scared of?
PerpetualMelody
(3.1.07 14:08)
first tell me what *interesting* points!
abhishek
(4.1.07 04:54) one of the interesting things is avoiding discussion of your fears. Though you have discussed almost everything thing else: love, life, sex, reservations, fashion, dowry. even keeping pune clean too.
PerpetualMelody
(4.1.07 06:19)
Hhmmmm. I'd say its an interesting observation. There are a lot more topics on which I haven't written - friendship, betrayal, infidelity, politics, profession, truth, lies, malice, etc.. But why you chose to mention 'fear' amuses me! Reminds me of someone, actually. But if you look closely, there is fear hidden in a couple of posts... they may not be about fear per se, but certain words, actions, thoughts and their expressions thereof are definitely bound by fear.
I would like to hear about the remaining observations too! i might just discover what i'm running away from :P
abhishek
(4.1.07 07:14)
Blogs are a reflection of writer's personality and interests. But not all posts are. Some of them are manufactured to present a particular view point, opinion or a story and hence are not so much representative of the person as what the person wants to represent. (Of course careful analysis of stories too will tell what the person is like but it will require more time) While other posts which are more of musings are more representative of the person.
There is a boatload of topics about which you haven't written. But most of those topics are what i term as "manufactured pieces" (btw this terminology is not to denigrate manufactured pieces, its just to delineate between outbursts and constructed articles) . In fact a majority of topics in your blog are manufactured pieces (that is your aim for this blog i guess - to write constructed articles). And that, the fact that most of the articles are constructed, is also indicative, isnt it?
abhishek
(4.1.07 07:30)
The thing that confuses me is why dont I get these thoughts when I am trying to pen down something in my own blog.
I mean i spouted a whole theory about blogs, just like that.
Seems indicative of interesting points about me as well.
PerpetualMelody
(7.1.07 07:40)
i kinda agree on blog posts being a reflection of the writer's mind, but very little can be deduced from 'manufactured' pieces - hey i like the term! i guess i let my personal diary bear my outbursts, while i keep this place 'constructed' - which is indeed my aim for this blog.
just the way most of the humour is situational, and one can't always sit alone and write up wise-cracks, the writing process also needs to be triggered. writing is more often than not a response to stimuli. so keep reading, and keep writing
abhishek
(11.1.07 11:10)
There is one outburst about reservations. But apart from that you have been careful. And the blog is just what a nice blog should be: poems for an unknown love, reflective well-made pieces about dowry, sex, fashion, education and what not, nice pictures, good stories. Its really nice blog. I mean you do put in a thought about what you are writing on it (except may be for "venereal love" which i assume was an oversight)
And thats what leads to the thought about a rosy apply having the worm or lots of similar quotes. And that prompted the question which i asked earlier.
abhishek
~armchair psychology is like drugs: you feel so powerful and high and mighty while doing it and later when you look back, it seems so wrong and pointless.
~thats an original quote.
~And hey, in case you are wondering, I do have a life. Its just at times when i want to keep it aside and browse through 11 pages of someone's blog.
~And also i love PS/PPS/PPPS .. so on and so forth
(20.1.07 09:30)
'nice' blog seemed pretty synonymous to 'safe' and 'unadventurous' here ..but never mind... safe it is!
venereal love? naaa... it is 'venereal play' ... and it wasn't an oversight. i deliberately wrote that coz thats what i meant in the poem
don't think there is any apple - rosy or not - without worms. i'm sure all of have our closets full of such 'worms'.
and heyy... i like armchair psychology! i keep dishing it out all the time... though i feel stupid looking back at times, i forgive myself under the pretext of 'growing up' hehe. convenient eh? that way i can continue doing what i do for as long as i live but yep, me likes the quote
its indeed flattering when somebody reads soo many pages of your blog. don't think i'm that bad a writer :P but what do you do when not browsing through non-copyrighted-venting-of-idle-minds?
--------
P.S.: how about taking this conversation off my blog? do drop in an email instead :-)
SwB
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(20.1.07 12:13)
abhishek has said enough. i'll just say hello. liked the poem.
abhishek
(24.1.07 06:03)
whats your email address? or give me a hint for the treasure hunt. its more fun that way.
~That usage of "venereal play" is a bit discordant as venereal is more in a negative sense when the entire poem is romantic and emotionally positive. thats why i assumed its an oversight.
~i think my email id is already present on your blog (whence i think i reaped the harvest of spam. i still have enough spam left from then to last me for quite sometime)
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i thought the title of the poem was indicative of the purpose of the poem.
Will have to write up something asap if i want to escape that fate.
..but never mind... safe it is!
