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Perpetual Melody
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Aftermath
 Once we built that castle in a frenzy of desires The one they write about in fairy tales Where waters sang and clouds danced We walked, lured by pregnant hearts Once you etched my name with heaps of love On the sand and barks of trees, possessed By the thought of undying thrill Impervious to fear or tryst with strife And then, doom cast its shadow Those vague melodies disappeared and Wars were raged, of righteousness and self-pity With word-webs of abstract, misled thoughts Stories were told and mud was slung And opinions christened; and each now sits Snugly in his cloak of righteousness Of what-was and what-could-have-been The broken bond now lies in gloom Soaked in the aftermath of the deluge Naked in crowded rooms, so each could Snatch at it, prey on it, and get his own view Post cold-hearted murder of love’s labour A decent burial is all it needs, an end that’s As glorious as the beginning. And some solace that There’s still something left to be happy about |
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- (13.11.07 04:40) A very poignant expression of love gone sour... you might want to rework the end though, seems a bit abrupt |
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Ketan (13.11.07 06:13) A very touching portrayal of emotions after a sad break-up.I like the ending though as it conveys a sense of optimism for the future as compared to the gloom and doom before it. These things are tough, so hopefully people involved are mature enough to respect each other after it. |
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Demera (13.11.07 07:53) pwerful expression without any unnecessary dressing. loved the lines: "The broken bond now lies in gloom Soaked in the aftermath of the deluge Naked in crowded rooms, so each could Snatch at it, prey on it, and get his own view" any further opinion by a reader would only be "Snatch at it, prey on it, and get his own view" i guess 
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PerpetualMelody (14.11.07 03:48) I'm glad that you liked it Once a work is up for public viewing, the snatching and preying is inevitable I guess. I read your guestbook entry. I'm amused by your interpretation of my work. I never realized it was bordering on opposing emotions most of the time. And hey, one can't afford to have all those experiences himself/herself. borrowing a page from others' books also helps
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