I have always believed that being ‘single and ready to mingle’ is a happy state… Being a 20-something young lady, single, straight, dynamic, smart, intelligent and all that, there has never been a dearth of men! But I’m in no hurry to trade my status for anybody… but yet; the changes happening around me give me these spinster woes! Well, let me elaborate…

You know spinster woes have hit you when your convivial gang is no longer the way it used to be! Impromptu weekend get-a-ways are a thing of the past. I remember the days when we all used to gang up together minus the fellas and freak around!! Pubs, movies, picnics, coffee shops, girlie chitchats.. But now, slowly and steadily the hangouts are turning desolate. The shambolic way that I loved is no longer the same. Sigh! And almost every activity under the sun accentuates the pain.

A pastime as pleasurable as shopping makes me edgy nowadays! The purchase of everything, right from clothes to accessories to regular consumer goods like shampoos & stuffs is dictated by that someone special! I don’t like that super coy and super obedient behaviour, but don’t have much choice there! Looking at all the melodrama I lose patience & get all the more irritable. How much to look appealing to your partner??!! I do understand all this, but it gets irritating at times.

Apart from all this, there are many such small things that get on my nerves and I end up stupefying myself over n over again.

Like... you decide on a day long picnic, and the only response to it is, “the whole day??”

You decide to catch a romantic movie, and pat comes the reply, ”Sorry sweetie, I’ve promised him we would watch it together!” Now I’m almost tearing my hair out with frustration! Why do women give so much importance to their men! For God’s sake, give them a break too!!

I say, “Ok… get him along too! I won’t mind flirting a bit! ”

“Shooo… stay away from my man!”

“Jesus! I was kidding! You can have your man and lets not get into these ugly jealousies and insecurities betwixt us!”… The topic is over. I’m in no mood to pursue anybody.

The workplace is no different either! We do build bonds with colleagues & we do become friends, share secrets and all that. But most women rush out of the office as soon as its 6, to meet their husbands or boyfriends… whatever!!

“Heyy but we decided to play TT after office!”

 “TT?? Some other day…”, comes the reply, with a big grin!! The man sitting in the adjacent cubicle comes over, “Can we go for coffee, if you are free?”

“No, I’m a bit busy. Some other day!”

He asks, “Umm… you don't have a boyfriend, do you!?”, with a sly, fishy look.

“No… but I’m not coming out with you. I don’t like flirts! I must be the hundredth girl you are asking out!”, I murmur to myself, “Oh Lord, why have you stopped making men descent enough to go out with!?” We know our male friends too well to even think of dating them! And I hate it all the more when married men make a pass! Wonder why every single woman is perceived to be 'available' by these philanders!! Well, whatever, so after a small game of TT, we spend some more time at workplace exhibiting dedication and sincerity towards work!

They say, “When a girl falls in love, her roommate falls in love soon… with the same man!” these femme fatales just won’t stop praising their men in shining armours, and how nice and sugary sweet and sensitive they are… I get angry, looking at what he’s done to my friend… She is what HE wants her to be. She speaks the way HE wants her to! I bang my head against the wall… How could you be so gullible! And the sad part is that theirs aren’t even those 'happily ever-after' fairy tales! They fight over petty matters... over something as silly as getting late, or the skimpy clothes they wear... or even as stupid a matter as what song should be played next in the winamp!! Girls can't tolerate their man getting friendly with any other girl... nor can these machos(?) tolerate their woman being looked at by other men! They try to bully each other and change each other and yet they say, "I love you as you are!!" now this is strange! They fight like cats and dogs and my silly love-lorn buddies shed buckets of water… and I've no option but to offer my shoulder every fortnight! They vouch never to go back to their respective 'monsters'... and the next day my phone rings to tell me yet another 'kiss-n-make-up' tale… and all my counseling efforts prove futile yet one more time!

My buddies go to extremes where they become mentally handicapped and so dependent on each other! It upsets me, but I heave a sigh of relief!! Thank goodness… I've a mind of my own, which functions independently and decides on a platter. I'm not answerable to anybody; I don't have to take permission from anybody to do what I want. I can wear what I want. I can talk to any Tom, Dick and Harry using my own discretion and without getting scared!! I can give my contact numbers and chat-Ids to anybody because I trust my ability to handle all kinds of people and that I need not pay heed to anybody for whatsoever reasons... I don't lose sleep over something he says to me!! I don't get puffy eyes and dark circles due to crying my heart out!!

So, I am happy the way I am… But I sometimes feel sorry for my friends who fall into the throes of such relationships... But again, I do like to see them happy at times! (…Forget the once in a while sob stories). And I like the pink glow on their faces (of course when things are sailing smooth). And I do pray for them, “Amen! May you be happy forever!”

And then, sometime in my solitude, I ask myself, “Am I happy to be single, but happier to mingle?” naaaahhh!!