The theory of relationships - Perpetual Melody

I came across a theory on the crux of relationships on a blog, the gist of which was that in a marriage (arranged), people get married, fall in love, get to know each other and gradually learn to tolerate each other… communication helps them tide over the initial phase, and then eventually as the spouses get to know each other better, the communication gap deepens, they no longer talk, i.e. become ‘mature’, their life becomes monotonous, and to put an end the monotony, they decide to extend the family by bearing kids… thus their relationship is re-defined! And that every relationship can be placed in this context.

Gosh! The entire life-story, rather many life-stories, revealed in just a few lines… Personally, I don’t agree with the theory, though its interesting and simple enough to retain curiosity. I believe that relationships should be nurtured with love and care. Be it a love marriage or an arranged one, the future of the relationship is shouldered by both persons equally. It’s a myth that love marriages make things easier, and that adjusting is less taxing since the two involved already know each other well… but the trial starts after the marriage, when you inspect each other more closely, interact on a day-to-day basis and uncover facets of each other you aren’t so comfortable with. But then, don’t we all have a few irksome traits? How many people think of becoming ideal partners before expecting idealistic behaviour from their spouses?

Well, that apart, but I strongly believe that there’s magic in every relationship, perhaps dormant. It has to be awakened and worked upon with finesse before it can colour your world with the bliss you’ve always dreamt of! And it’s not simple. Communication is the key. Transparency is one of the pre-requisites, and honesty is the building block! Being a sucker for honesty at all costs, I know its value, and I’ve seen it work wonders time and again… and I believe that with these basic ingredients one can keep the relationship going strong for years, even lives to come! There won’t ever be a lack of topics if you work towards being each other’s best friends and share everything, however trivial! And as time advances and the marriage gets ‘older’, perhaps you need to re-define the magic.

There could be many reasons for that once-upon-a-time heady passion to reduce to a once-in-a-while display of affection. People grow, change with time, and we have to adjust with each other and help each other grow – personally, professionally, socially. But I also believe that extending the family is no good option for tiding over the crisis in your marriage! I would never want my child to open his/her eyes in a world devoid of love. That newly arrived bundle can add to your joy, make you happy parents, but how will it help strengthen your bond with each other? People argue that now they have a common aim – rearing the child! Bullshit! Such children will have the wrong ideal in front of them and will grow up to be grumpy, unhappy human beings.

Well, the crux of the whole essay is that one must never try and mingle two relationships into one… you have to rejuvenate your declining relationship by blowing life into it, not by bringing another life in the world… a comfortable marriage, a blissful companionship will give you the strength to face anything and everything in the world… I know I’m too dreamy… but what the heck, I still believe in eternal love-stories, and I know I’ll make it work for myself!