These days I find myself hanging around with people who aren't the best of my friends; neither do I see them as best friends in future, but they give me company and help me ward off boredom for some time, and I like the fact that they are there. But more often than not, I find myself struggling to make small talk. I don't agree with everything they say or do or think, but they really mean nobody to me to invite a debate. And I don't feel like wasting my time and energy on people I'm sure I would not be meeting again for many days to come! They are those people who try too hard to 'show' and convince people that they are having a really good time. I knew one such person who was thoroughly unhappy, but believed in pretending to have a gala time so she could give others an inferiority complex! Now isn't that weird? All the fake smiles, the pretentious laughter, the insincere concern at times drive me real crazy, but I've learnt to tackle it!
In fact, the people who are closest to me are those I meet once in a while, and it always feels so good to see them... and nothing seems to have changed in the relation. In fact, some who were always close to me, and who might continue to remain so, are those I left behind somewhere as I marched ahead, year after year. I never thought I could live without them... it seemed like life would cease to exist if those people were no longer with me. And they are precisely those close ones, who are not physically proximal to me for various reasons today...
When I look back and glance over what all I left behind, it feels like yesterday. Life has moved at lightning speed. And there is so much that has happened in such a short span of time. There's so much that I lost on my way up to here. But a lot I gained too! So many people I lost track with, so many new ones I met, so many dreams that couldn't be fulfilled, so many new hopes and reasons to live! Yet somewhere, it all seems absurd, and doesn't make a farthing sense to me. This whole process seems like that of the metamorphosis of a snake. If shedding old skin, read old relationships dreams goals, and acquiring a new one every season, read new relationships dreams goals, is what life puts us through, does 'forever' have any authenticity? After I finish all my planning, I discover, every time, that life has altogether different plans for me, and I'm still getting used to it all... trying to get used to being a log which the river called life floats around and carries wherever it wants to. And then people talk about free will!
But despite it all, life does move... and boy! It moves fast! If there's one thing I've hated, its stagnancy; stagnancy in any walk of life... and I'm glad I haven't got loads of it
suniti
(15.10.05 14:14)
Nice, easy writing. Makes a good read because of it's simplicity. Yes life moves very fast Our life for most parts is filled with people who don't mean much to us. Some good friendships can emerge thru this too
Roop
/ Website
(16.10.05 21:30)
woman o woman, are you my long lost twin or somethin? hehe check this out >> http://infamousbrat.blogspot.com/2005/09/blasts-from-past.html u'll know what i mean heh ......... goodness, it's scary! heh
Eshan
(20.10.05 09:17)
Last Fall I found myself in a similar situation, I was beginning to feel suffocated with the group of people I was hanging around with. Every other person seemed to be having fun but me....I just needed to find an answer to my questions, why is it that I never get bored when hanging around with my school friends and why is it that as I grow older I find it difficult to make really good friends. As kids in school one has the liberty to draw his/her own boundaries, was it not easy to say 'You are my friend' to one person and at the same time bluntly refuse someone to be a part of your group. This innocence is something that connects you to only those whom you like the most. These guys/gals will always be a group of people whom you would enjoy to hang around with even when you turn 75 one day. As one grows up friendships start becoming need based, two people are friends as they reciprocate each others needs. In such cases you don’t mind not being in touch with this person a few years down the line. This becomes worse when you are working. When at Cummins in Pune there was a group of people whom I used to work with, they always had grand plans of partying together, going to see places together..etc. I wished so much that like in school I could tell them, Look – I am not your friend, we just work together, I don’t want to be with you after that. Just try to make a list of those whom you really miss being around, majority of them would be the ones whom you’ve been friends with since you were a kid. I do not know how true this is wrt others but it sure is in my case.
