Fair enough? - Perpetual Melody

Its good looks that are doing the rounds everywhere! Cinema, television, advertisements, matrimonials, you name it! What are good looks? What is it that makes some people attractive than the rest? Well, this perception varies with every community, race and religion. Certain physical aspects that have been considered charming by people include the hair texture and the skin tone, the height and the weight, body mass proportion, face symmetry, even body odour at times. But generally we term those people beautiful who follow trends in fashion, food, dining, clothing, gadgets, etc. In capitalist cultures that value individuality, attractive people are seen as assertive and strong, while in some more collectivistic Asian cultures, attractive people are seen as being more sensitive and understanding.

Indian society has been forever hung up on the fair complexion, making it synonymous to beautiful! Beauty empowered people, and the cosmetics industry soared, and still is rising higher and higher, thanks to people’s quest to look good! And the range of these products caters to all communities and both the genders equally. 60% of the people want to change at least one thing about themselves. Being ugly is kind of a stigma in our prejudiced world. Attractive people are assumed to be more extroverted, popular, and happy. But if you observe closely, beauty is nothing but attitude and a state of mind. What gives attractive guys an upper hand over their counter-parts is the extra confidence developed early in their life that enables them to interact in society without any inhibitions, making them bold and beautiful.

Analysis by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis suggests that good-looking people tend to make more money and get promoted more often than those with average looks. A survey conducted by London Guildhall University of 11,000 people showed that (subjectively) good-looking people earn more. Less attractive people earned, on an average, 13% less than more attractive people, while the penalty for overweight was around 5%. It's a little known fact that the Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences has a swimsuit competition for the Nobel Prize!

We often hear from people that good looks aren’t important, and that the internal beauty of a person matters... but as you grow older; you realize that probably looks do play an important role. Not only in personal life, but its often argued that prettier/handsomer people land up with jobs far quickly than the not so attractive ones. Apparently, companies hire good-looking men/women because they are representatives of a company’s image. Keep aside the corporate sector; even the education industry isn’t far behind. A recent survey suggests that the looks of a professor are directly proportional to the attendance in a class! Well, we didn’t need a research to tell us this, did we? Haven’t we all seen Sushmita Sen working her magic in our very own Bollywood?

But even as we are talking about physical beauty here, we are not undermining internal beauty, the true person beyond that façade and fashionable clothing. It’s said that: If you want to enhance your physical attractiveness, become a valuable social partner. We all know the story of a small girl saying her ugly mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. The knowledge of the person’s non-physical traits often changes our perception of beauty. An employee’s efficiency depends more on his/her perseverance, dedication, social skills, and intelligence.

In an age where we are constantly bombarded by televisions, advertisements, hoardings, magazines, with the idea that fair is beautiful; good physique is beautiful; where we are still slaves to drop dead gorgeous looks, there’s a very interesting quote which I came across: Physical attraction is a vital ingredient in a healthy marriage. But it was never intended to be the whole meal.

Even otherwise, in all walks of life, we have grown to respect some people regardless of what they look like, only on the basis of their moral stature. But your attitude will finally pull you through. Beauty is not only good skin; it’s also about aesthetics. It’s representative of good deeds and kindness. Brilliance shines from inside, from the heart, and is extremely overpowering... to the carrier as well as to the beholder!

(Special thanks to: Miss. Roop Rai, and her article on Good looks)

Had to keep the above write-up devoid of my personal opinion since it was for my office magazine. So here I go with my views:

Looking back, I do notice a trend with myself... once upon a time, in college to be specific (and that wasn't long back

) I had a lot of friends... the prettiest girls and the hunkiest guys. Not that I made any effort towards it... it just happened, or probably I neglected the not so attractive ones, I'm not sure. But yes, sometimes it did happen that going out for a walk with downright ugly guys made me uncomfortable... I wanted to be popular. I wanted people to stare with envy at me looking at the guy who was with me.. But then, today, after having known too many hunks, and finding them equally shallow from within, makes me disbelieve that beautiful is always good. I've realized that good looks don't sustain relationships. It takes a lot of substance and a great deal of maturity to begin with. You can't keep staring at the person throughout life. You need mental stimulation too.

A good looking friend need not be able to offer you the best of advice or the best of moral support. In romantic relationships, looks work, they help you climb the ladder one step up, but after that only good looks can get monastically boring. Also, I wouldn't get into a romantic relation with somebody ugly, because I probably won't be physically attracted to him. And mutual physical attraction constitutes a very important part if you plan to marry somebody, right? So 'love at first sight' is ruled out here. But then it may so happen that fate brings you together, you may see the beautiful person hiding behind those ugly looks, and you may actually fall in love! I'm not sure. More often than not, I've seen a mismatch when it comes to romantic pairs... ugly guys and pretty girls and vice versa... so much so that I always feared my husband would be ugly. Every person looks for different things! I also agree that out of so many friends that I've made online, I might not even have looked at them had they first met me offline. It just works that way I guess!

And then, not to boast, but then you have some expectations set, which largely depend on how you yourself are... if you've been getting attention from hunks/damsels since the beginning, your bar tends to rise upwards, you get more choosy and don't want to settle for less. On the contrary, an unattractive person does know he/she can't reach the stars, even though he/she may continue to hope for them. So it's just a matter of personal likes/dislikes. I would be thrilled to date Tom Cruise, but I only love his screen persona. In real life I don't know if at all he is my types!

I would never want to be with a guy who doesn't have a good heart, or who isn't cultured, or who doesn't respect women and elders, or who doesn't respect me as a person regardless of my looks. For that would make me tremendously insecure if he says he loves me bcoz he likes the way I look, and not bcoz of what I talk or do! I don't want to lead a life full of insecurity constantly trying to invent ways to be physically appealing to him

that's not my idea of love at all! Physical shortcomings jump out of the window when love steps in. And I don't want my partner to feel that the moment he starts looking ugly I would abandon him... I won't, if I love him.

So you see how things are connected? Its just fate I guess. And its entirely a personal choice. It just has to *click*

*Click* is a very cliched word though, and I dont know how exactly to define it

and I'm an eternal romantic... was just listening to:

naam gum jaayega, chehra yeh badal jaayega,
teri awaaz hi pehchaan hain, gar yaad rahe!

and also...
tere mere beech mey kaisa hain yeh bandhan anjaana
maine nahi jaana tune nahi jaana...
...
ek dor kheeche dooja dauda chala aaye
kachche dhaage mey bandha chala aaye

If you are happy, damn the world. Making decisions based on others opinions isn't worth it. People spend their lives wondering what makes an odd couple happy, while the couple spends its life being happy!

And then, my friends would continue to remain my friends, good-looking or not, just because of all that they mean to me and all that they have done for me. They are beautiful!

Fair enough?