Say 'NO to Dowry' Campaign - Perpetual Melody

The women of India are an epitome of exploitation in the name of tradition practiced by the chauvinistic patriarchal society of ours. Despite all talks about gender equality, a lot of practices continue to exist in this day and age that treat women as commodities and chattels to men.

‘Dowry’ is one of those shameful practices. It’s almost synonymous with women’s oppression and degradation. There is ample evidence that the phenomenon of dowry is expanding, spreading to communities where it had never existed, and that the value of dowries is rising to untenable limits; there are horrific reports of fathers selling kidneys to cover dowry payments, or collective suicides in families with multiple daughters!

To understand this practice, lets first have a peek at the history of this system.

A dowry (also known as trousseau) is a gift of money or valuables given by the bride's family to that of the groom to permit their marriage.
It’s the amount given to the groom during kanyadaan (kanya=daughter, daan=gift)
It’s also the amount given to the groom as a gift in the form of vardakshina (var=groom, dakshina=gift)
In India, dowry was initially designed to safeguard women and their security by providing streedhan (stree=woman, dhan=wealth) in the form of money, property, jewelry and such gifts given solely to the woman at the time of her marriage, and the groom and his family had no right to it.
In earlier times when the woman did not earn, her parents gave money to the groom since he had no extra source of income to support her.
When the practice of bal-vivaha (bal=child, vivaha=marriage) was rampant, parents of both – bride and the groom, set up some money so that the couple could kick start their lives. Often, the parents of the groom were to provide for his education, and the bride’s parents provided for setting up the household.
In our society, girls should be married off at the right age. One wants money, the other is desperate to get his daughter married at any cost!
As the woman had no right to the ancestral wealth, it was given in the form of land, gold and other gifts during her marriage. This practice started with the maharajas and rich landlords and slowly percolated to every stratum.
Firstly, I use the word ‘dowry’ only for forceful (implicit or explicit) expectations, asking for cash, clothes, jewels, wedding/reception expenses, honeymoon expenses, travel expenses, fees for education, furniture, appliances, household goods, vehicles, real estate, etc which play an important role in determining any marriage. But today as we see, this custom that was started with good intentions has been eroded and exploited to heinous levels. That streedhan which was supposed to be a safe net for her, went on to become a death trap. Dowry is sugarcoated with words like streedhan, vardakshina and kanyadaan.

But there’s another side to this coin. There are quite a few girls who do support this practice. They think its their right to demand money from their parents since anyway they wont be having any share in the father’s property post marriage. And they also see nothing wrong with it since they are so desperate to get married. Yes, it’s a fact! It’s sad that girls still give in to such demands and pressures of the society.

Dowry continues to be given and taken. Even among the educated sections of society, dowry continues to form an essential part of the negotiations that take place in an arranged marriage. Dowry is still very much a status symbol.

Here are a few implications of dowry: (Ref: AidIndia)
1. Dowry kills 16 women everyday (official) - (Govt. of India, National Bureau of Investigation, NBI).
2. 68 women die everyday because of dowry (unofficial sources) - from Himendra Thakkar's article "Are our sisters and daughters for sale".
3. Almost 2000 suicide deaths are reported every year as a consequence of dowry (NBI).
4. Female genocide/infanticide is a direct consequence of dowry. The latest census data shows that the sex ratio in India has fallen from 945 (1991) to 927(2001) per 1000 males. Economically well-off states like Delhi, Chandigarh, Gujarat, Karnataka, Punjab and Haryana have the worst sex ratio.
5. Domestic violence is on the rise and many of these are caused by inadequate dowry.
6. Female literacy rates are incredibly low as a consequence of discrimination against the girl child 38% for women and 64% for men.

Ultimately just goes to prove that mere education doesn’t inculcate values and ethics. They are inbuilt, and are an integral part of a person’s character. It does not wipe out the tendency to take! While giving, they hold back their hands, but the same hands open in full capacity to grab whatever comes their way?! Hypocrites!

As more and more women are becoming financially independent, the purpose of giving and accepting dowry is getting diminished day by day. Women are educated and can fend for themselves. They can do well without men who are insatiable dowry mongers and who look at them as money-minting machines, or mere commodities, or forceful obligations. No more do we support the insanely extravagant demands as though the girl were her father’s liability, and eventually her ‘burden’ had to be shared by the groom and his family, hence a way of paying ‘damages’!

Unfortunately, the rebellion does not happen on that scale even now. Though I do know a number of women and men too, who are staunchly against dowry. Join us in the No Dowry campaign.

PLEDGE: I promise never to give or take dowry

Click here to sign the pledge