Alimony/Maintenance to husbands? - Perpetual Melody

The Allahabad high court recently ruled that a man who is unable to support himself is entitled to get maintenance from his earning wife during the proceedings of a matrimonial dispute. When I first heard this news, I was shocked! This means that if the husband is not earning, he is entitled to getting maintenance from his estranged/divorced wife. I was worried about unscrupulous husbands (read parasites) feeding off their wives! Just as a lot of women misuse these laws, a lot of men will too! And neither is acceptable. The tendency of people to manipulate is very high!

But I’ve always thought of women as the oppressed, suppressed lot. So the decision by the high court evoked a lot of sympathy towards the woman in question. And it also set me thinking on how correct it is to ask women to pay alimony to their husbands!

I was shocked because we are more used to the conventional roles played by men and women. No matter how much we talk about women empowerment, at the end of the day the fact remains that women want to be protected and cared for; while men need to protect and feel wanted in order to feed their egos! Looking at the vast number of men who have sided by this decision, I wonder where these EGOS have disappeared?! Looks like they were waiting for this opportunity to stay at home and reap the benefits of their wives’ wages even after a divorce.

Firstly, since we’ve been used to looking at men as providers and bread-earners and women as house-keepers (and they need to be aware that house-keeping is a great responsibility in itself and they can’t simply get away from their responsibilities by divorcing their wives) in the family, husbands sitting idle while the wife works is not a thought that’s very easy to digest. Though the trend of househusbands has been catching up fast, it’s still far from becoming the accepted norm. I personally, am not comfortable with that setting. The flaw in a typical Indian upbringing is that women are comfortable with partners who are intellectually, physically, monetarily superior to them. So when this partner whiles away his time at home and feeds off his wife, it comes as a cultural shock to most.

But on re-thinking, I concluded that simply blabbering about gender equality isn’t enough. When we claim equal rights on the professional, personal front, why not here too?! Women are no longer the weaker lot. If earning husbands are eligible for paying alimony to their wives, why not the wives too?

But I was never in favour of alimony, even to women. When I last heard of Karishma Kapur demanding a 50 crore alimony from her estranged husband, I wanted to give a dressing down to all feminist organizations and ask them to protest! She’s healthy and rich herself, for God’s sake!

But if at all alimony/maintenance has to exist, both, men and women, should be entitled to it on strict conditions. When he/she is not educated enough to earn, has no financial support, and has physical/mental disability, is too old to begin working, or has kids from this marriage to look after. Both parents should pay for their children’s education; kids are the responsibility of both parents. Under no circumstances should healthy men/women get ‘maintenance’ to fulfill their luxurious standards of living.

So, the court’s decision of maintenance to husbands is correct, in a way. But am still concerned about its misuse!