On a shimmering rainy night Hope plays mischief with me.
Quietly it comes in gusts of disquiet, Unfurling in my dreams Playing unstruck chords Weaving my heart in a song
I let hope linger on my tongue It sells me dreams, I buy them And savour in my thoughts The wedded bliss of fear and desire
The piper's cadenced call I follow And embark on a flight through desire's orbit To the ends of fantasy To the flaming doors of ecstasy . . . And many moments later When darkness lifts, It only brings music to my smile - The mischief that hope plays with me.
davidisrael
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(29.6.06 06:33)
ah superb -- meseems the best poem of yours I've seen so far.
[ btw typo watch:
> When darkess lifts ]
I a bit wonder whether "moments later" isn't (though mildly) too specific? I.e., another phrase (e.g. "some time later," or the like), braoder in interpretative scope (moments or months or years?) could have poetic virtues -- a small thought to consider.
PerpetualMelody
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(30.6.06 07:06)
oh david, you are too kind. as usual, the feedback is appreciated. i used 'many moments' because i liked the alliteration there. was trying to find out something on the lines of 'some time', but couldn't get the correct words. though i think many moments also conveys the correct sentiments, albeit less broader.
BåDs†A®
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(4.7.06 00:07)
Firstly, I enjoyed reading the poem. Also, forgive me for asking, but... I would appreciate if you'd explain what kind of feeling you were projecting into your words. I am having slight difficulty in determining if it's meant as a kind of 'light-hearted' play with imagery or a serious expression of meaning. Would you mind?
PerpetualMelody
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(4.7.06 18:29)
@BadStar: if i have to explain my poem then probably i have failed as a poet. but anyway, i shall try and explain. this is a light-hearted poem which talks about the journey of a person through his/her world of fantasies (as the title suggests), and also about how hope (which is a product of our fears and desires) tricks us and keeps us going by showing dreams which may be far-fetched. do i make sense this time around?
