Home Management lessons - Perpetual Melody

Life taught me another lesson last month.

My parents thought of going to an exotic location for a second honeymoon – needless to say we kids were not welcome. God is too kind, we chuckled, before I was struck with mom’s instructions – ‘you are the eldest in the house and thereby the responsibility to cook for the three of you rests with you.’ And there shattered my sweet ideas of a carefree stay for a fortnight. But what the heck, I thought. I sure can manage efficiently, the multi-tasker that I was!

My brother is a good-for-nothing parasite and the sister is a good-for-nothing offshoot of our family tree. So none of them could be of any aid.

The first couple of days were sheer bliss – I simply ordered food from outside! As some wise man once told me, ‘You should either learn to cook or to order’. I learnt to order! So the first night it was Chinese, and the next day it was pizza. My brother had no problem gulping it all down, but my sister, the bitch that she can be at times, threatened to put my life in jeopardy if I didn’t start cooking as mom had ordered me to. I had preened then, ‘You think I can’t cook? You shall see little sis, you shall see!’

The next day I woke up early – at 5.30 am. Imagine waking up at that time in the morning when the entire world is sleeping while the rain prances around in glory. But I did! I made the dough for the chapattis. As a rule, the configuration of the dough is never consistent. It’s either too thick and stubborn, or too much of a mush. That morning, it was as thick as rubber. I ploughed and ploughed that hard land till I was finally able to put it into many circular islands. Not bad, eh? I patted my own back. And the vegetable of the day was brinjal – baingan ka bharta – easy to cook and good to eat. So there, the lunch was ready and I kept aside some of the brinjal for the evening as well. Towards the end the kitchen table was a mess with lose dough scattered all over, and the cooking pans as black as coal.

Then the next day I made paneer and mixed vegetables, with readymade masaalaas. Tasty, yet so easy to cook! It doubled my fervour, until the Monday morning of the next week when it died down completely. My weekend had been spoilt. I had to stay home and cook, go shopping to the vegetable market and keep track of the items that needed to be stocked. My weekdays had been mega-spoilt, with cooking in the morning, work in the day, and cooking again in the evening! And to top it all, bear the whims of two spoilt teenagers, and I couldn’t even slap them back! Sigh!

I used to have nightmares about what to cook the next day. In office I found myself scanning the lunch menu to get ideas on what vegetables could be cooked at home. I even caught myself surfing for recipes! The only thought that played in my mind was that I had to cook and tidy the home after I reached home. I found myself picking rice in the back of my mind amidst working on high-end IT solutions!

I had become a house-wife minus the wife, and my kitchen demanded all my attention. I even had to miss a movie after office since I had to come home and cook! My friends had laughed, and I had been edgy all the while.

After a couple of days of experimenting, the novelty was gone. The same tadka, masaala, same ginger, same garlic, same tomato, same onions, and the deed was done! There was no creativity left and it became a drag. My personal life had been grinded along with the garlic and tomato paste.

Add to that, the maid took undue advantage of my mom’s absence and absconded for a good two days, which left me to do all the cleaning and washing!

By the time my parents returned home – and the ever dissatisfied species that they are – were displeased by the sorry state of the kitchen and things scattered all over the house. I wanted to yell at them and say that what I did was enough of an ordeal already and they shouldn’t be expecting any more.

And I came out alive even after their bashing, to present some of the important lessons I learnt in the process, and a few plans I have for my future:

I would never be a house-wife. House-wife or home-maker, whatever you may call it, but that’s definitely not my calling.
I would never over-estimate myself and try to multi-task, especially when it comes to house-hold activities.
I shall not try to achieve proficiency in cooking.
I shall appoint 3 maids/servants (just in case one was unable to make it some day) for cooking (one for lunch and the other for dinner) and cleaning even if that meant spending a huge chunk of my salary on them.
Preparing the dough is a strict no-no if you want to let your hands remain in the manicured state.
Post-marriage, it’s good to stay with in-laws. Even if they are unable to work, they can supervise, leaving you free for other activities.
Husbands should share all the work-load.
Learn not to cook, but to order.

Any other lesson that you might want to share?
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inspired by my cousin, Prajakta.