Amonymous
/ Website
(24.5.07 22:44)
I am free as the flowing river
my nature is to flow,
I feel the pain when i pass you
more than you for me bear..
I smash my myself against the rocks and splintered to drops
And every drop bears my tear ..
I had the soft contingent thats the the feathers would desire..
You are staunch to your ground...and i split ..
wish you werent there to break my stream
but now i will always bear you inside me
while i will always remain apart from you..
You never expressed
You never demanded...
I never stopped
I always changed..
I am lost in my rhythm and you in your charm...
I give you the shape and you show me the direction...
But we are never one
Slow me in your arms ..
soften me in your embrace for i may be lost from you for ever
For you are faith of a mountain
and i am the freedom of the river...
- "Its only words.. Words are what i have ..."
rahul
(26.5.07 12:29)
Liked the last two lines "but if you were'nt , i would stop wanting you...."
it summarizes the whole philosophy behind love..the individuality of every being..
the thread that binds and the feeling that blinds..
emotions drained for the one..the subtractions which become a sum..
the agony behind the silence..the freedom within the fence..
every minute , hour and days..watching the one with a fixating gaze..
somehow the wanting punishes you..its the most fulfilling sentence one can get through..
love can get you destroyed or make you kill..nevertheless always be on the love pill..
never ever let the memories fade..love is life , its always been said..
A gentle touch and a warm smile.. can get you through life's every single mile..
PerpetualMelody
(26.5.07 19:48)
damn! thats such a nice poem! can't resist from passing on a coupla suggestions, if you don't mind. the poem will read much better without the 3rd and 4th paras; they somehow break the rythm. but otherwise, its great do you blog as well?
Amonymous
/ Website
(27.5.07 10:49)
umm donno why, but i made it when i read yours in that fraction.. next time will make it precise.. I dont blog, i dont write on purpose but rather on impulse...
no i dont blog..this is the first time i wrote to someone ..or felt like writing a reply on someone's poem..
I first read almost all your blogs before writing..some of the things you wrote , I already had written on my cell drafts :-) and i keep referring to them many a times..
for eg : " god give me the strength to change the things i can , to accept the things i cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference.." such a deep meaning it has..
I wrote the above poem after reading the last two lines of your poem..
i write many a poems..usually on impulse , in my cell while i am travelling , or at work , when i get too bugged by the pressure..
feels good to pen down what runs in my head..
but i am a victim of the "rhyming syndrome" and as you rightly suggested , sometimes it does break the flow..
and yet i like to write a lot..I like expressing about what i feel , what i do , what i have been through , when i am happy , when i am sad , when i am outrighly delighted , and when i am just glad to see the beauty in the world..
uh - oh , i wrote a big blog..told you that once i start writing , i can go on and on....
hey putting down some part of a poem i wrote " The Dream ".. ( as said earlier , it is rhyming.. its ok , as long as it conveys the essence ..)
ofcourse..critical evaluation from your end is required.. :-)
here it goes..
The day has ended , again in pain ..
lost all I had , there's nothing left to gain..
No words can speak ,what you mean to me..
but baby, you have got to see..
This dream that I have woven for you..
and it could be so true..
if you only beleive in it..
maybe , you can catch the beat..
when we both go away..
to a dream that'll make you sway..
tonight I dream , of you and me..
dont wake me up , coz I want to see..
when you are all mine..
and we got all the time..
I hold your hand and never let it go..
I kiss you very gentle and very slow..
Every night , the moon and the stars see my dreams..
such strong feelings , their eyes are wet at the rims..
they whisper to me , to always keep dreaming..
to be numb , yet always keep feeling..
your hand in mine , till its dawn..
i was the king of the night , i wake up as a pawn..
reality bites and it breaks my heart..
but the day has to pass , i will play my part..
coz soon the night will come , as calm as a stream..
and we will be together again ,in my dream..
rahul
(27.5.07 11:34)
Oops..Archan , If you were giving your comments for the first poem , from "anonymous" , i apologise..
I though you were writing the comments for my poem..
anyways , do let me know how did my poem go..
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do you blog as well?